It’s day 2 and the squid is already backing out. Actually it’s day 3, but I’m playing catch up today so there will be two movies today. The squid says she still wants to watch, just not today. Today I’ll watch two movies I know she wouldn’t be interested in. For day 2 I’m watching Cholo Zombies.

I can already tell I’m gonna like this one. It’s cheesy af. Hey carnal, I left you something fresh inside. Bahaha the subtitles on this movie are hilarious. Either they’re auto generated or they’re written by someone who doesn’t speak Spanish. Bruh, don’t you know you don’t open weird boxes you dig up? Dude is awfully nonchalant about his girl turning into a zombie. Hey Siri, laziest attempt at research ever. Here’s the priest who knows all about black magic. White privilege pigeon lmao. It’s supposed to be hot, it’s from hell. Get rid of the box, pendejo. Cholo zombie virus…cholos just hanging out at the hospital. Ok so they’re not mindless and society just adapts to their existence. And they still have to work. And they’re awarded protections by the government. This is starting to feel like social commentary done in an extremely non serious way. Half toes, half pineapple. Surprising amount of fart jokes. Wtf this guy is just carrying around an Aztec ritual sword in his trunk. Of course we got some car show action. Wouldn’t be a cholo movie without low riders at a car show. Training montage. How did they decide that Monstro is the devil’s favorite zombie? I love how they all protect Darb even when they’re zombies and he’s pretending so he can fit in. They just let him have it.

Concluding thoughts: this movie is stupid as fuck but I liked it.