Why do I keep doing this to myself. I take a nap after dinner that goes way longer than it should have and then I spend an hour scrolling through the streaming services for my next movie despite having saved several on watchlists. I’ve scrolled past Attack of the Crab Monsters many times and each time my brain chants crab people, crab people, look like crab, talk like people so I laugh and keep scrolling. Tonight I lingered and hit play. Let’s see what this is all about. The algorithm has a sense of what I like.

This is black and white but I really like the tones. The closeups are very clear and smooth and scenes with movement blur a bit. I like it. Oh no, someone fell off the little boat. Oh no, giant crab. Oh no, where’d his head go? Cover him lol. Oh it is an omen of things to come. No animal noises because they’re smart enough to leave a place populated by giant carnivorous crabs. Not like stupid humans. Clicking noises. No animals, no insects. Going for a little dive, doc? I guess no one told her about the guy who went under and came back up without a head. As if she could have gotten to that depth from the shore. I like those old timey swimsuits. Sounds like a kid dragging a stick along a picket fence just attacked the guys in the tent. Interesting. The crabs seem to be able to communicate telepathically. They just tricked a guy into thinking the others told him to go to the pit. Ahahaha giant claw. Omg it’s fuckin crab people. Well. Sorta. Radiation poisoning. Once they were men, now they are land crabs. Crab people, crab people. All that science talk and they land exactly on the right hypothesis. Dramatic music. Lovely time for a swim with giant radioactive murder crabs. Snip snip. Citizen Sniiiiiiiiips!!! Cartoon references for everything. You guys should probably stop feeding it scientists if you know it absorbs their brain power. You’re giving away all your ideas for survival. My, what big eyes you have. wtf abrupt ending.

Closing thoughts: yeah, I liked it. The algorithm knows all.