The internet has been ablaze with wicker memes since the previews for the upcoming sentient object romance comedy movie started showing up. Some folks took the jokes a bit further and commented that they think they watched the wrong wicker man movie, because the one they saw was no rom-com. I’ve been sharing these memes incessantly with my far away friends, forgetting that they aren’t sentient romance people and probably had no idea what I was going on about. Sorry, friends. This is the weird you signed up for. Anyway, since Wicker is nowhere near release date yet, I will watch The Wicker Man.

I may have to watch this one without watching. The audio does not match up with the mouths and it’s quite annoying. Some of these old movies are like that though. Ha! Telling the cops they can’t park their plane there. Huh, wrong missing girl. Cop probably thinks he just walked into the loony bin. Oh. Quit peeping, officer. Lots of couples fucking in the grass and then…church? Lots of singing and nudity. You don’t believe in it before marriage, eh? Looks like we have a 40 year old virgin here. Ugh, more singing. Did a little googling because I was about ready to quit this movie. And then I got to the schoolroom scene and the theme is becoming a bit clearer. Cult stuff vs Christian cop fuddy duddy. Naked pagan rituals. Christopher Lee considered this his best film? Interesting. So much pearl clutching. I predict this cop will be naked by the end of the movie, whether by choice or by consequence. Hello, masked townspeople. Hello, stranded plane. Looks like you’re not going anywhere after all. Bloody heathens! What fun costumes. CHOP CHOP CHOP. Who can resist a good chant. Sheesh, that cop is terrible. Blew his cover so fast. Ha! Seems this is an ACAB village. And then they busted out the lute and played Body Count’s Cop Killer. I don’t think your speech is getting through to them. Oh my, that wicker man is one hot piece of basket weaving. This was a little goofy in the beginning, but I really started to enjoy it in the second half. Solid movie.